Why You Can’t Balance it All
How many of you often feel like you’re walking a tightrope with 10 clumsy hats on? There is SO much advice on balance – balancing all the roles we have as moms, wives, business owners, leaders, and all the things you’ve been called to do. Goodness, you could read 100 different books on it, and I’ve read the posts that say the word “balance” is out and “living fully present” is in. I do love that, but ultimately, I keep going back to Jesus.
How did Jesus live? He served wholeheartedly. But He valued His time with the Father. He knew when He had to get away to stay well. He knew human limits. He was GOD, and He knew He needed a time of refreshment – a time of rest – a time to be alone. He invested in His friends. He served the people the Father brought to Him. But He never went running after them trying to beat a message into them that they didn’t want to hear. In fact, there were towns that didn’t receive Him, and He brushed the dust off His feet and He moved on. He didn’t say YES to everyone and everything! He didn’t try to push His way through closed doors. Get this – He didn’t press even His own family who didn’t support Him all that well. He instead called the people around Him his mother and father and brothers and sisters.
As a mom of five and a business owner and a wife to a very busy business owner, I still keep analyzing this elusive measure of balance, b/c I can be fully present and living fully where my feet land, but ultimately, I still have a choice in WHERE they land and the number of minutes that I’m keeping them there!
I’ve heard this story a few times – it goes something like this (and excuse my lack of accuracy and the fact that I don’t remember where I read this – if I did, I would certainly give them credit!! But I do know the general story). There was a church that was experiencing tremendous growth, and they were seeking the help of a wise counselor on how to handle it. Obviously, a huge increase in extra people coming in every Sunday can be draining when you don’t have the infrastructure or help to handle it. The wise counselor replied, “Well…YOU are the ones who put out the chairs.”
We often act like our busyness is out of our control – but we’re the ones putting up the chairs. We’re the ones saying yes. We’re the ones putting our kids in all the events because we don’t want to disappoint them. We’re the ones who feel like we need to keep up financially which requires working more. We’re the ones feeling obligated to be on the committee or be a part of 3 Bible Studies or grow the business in this way or that.
And as a woman who owns a business and loves championing other business owners, I believe that we CAN do all the things that are important to us, but what is important to YOU? Because your time and money will show it, and if that doesn’t match with what you SAY is important, then we need to do a little re-analysis as to why there is a disconnect between our words and our actions. We are always making conscious and unconscious choices about how to spend our minutes.
So I’m going to ask you – what is actually important to you? For myself personally, I know that I’m in a stage where growing my business has to take a back seat to my growing family (like spiritual/emotional growth, not physically growing it b/c unless the Lord works a miracle, we are calling our family complete at 5 kids! lol). And I have SO many dreams and goals and ideas, but the Lord has also told me to be content. I’ve seen my business double in patients in the past year – PRAISE GOD! It’s exactly what I had hoped and prayed for! But suddenly it’s like…well if that happens again, what will I do? Will I keep putting up more chairs? Or will I recognize my limits and more so, the limits of my family, who still really need their mama for most things?
I have a choice. You have a choice. What chairs are you going to put up? And is it time to stop putting up the chairs, so you CAN be fully present and live wholeheartedly exactly where your feet are planted? Don’t buy into the world’s message that you are superwoman. You are equipped with the Holy Spirit, and you also carry human limitations that need to be respected. When we forget this, we run ourselves into the ground, and potentially our families right along with us.
So I ask you again – where are you choosing to plant your feet?