I struggled with disordered eating as a young adult.
Here are 4 things I DON’T say to my kids to help them develop a healthy relationship with food!
- “You shouldn’t eat more of that because it’s bad for you.”
- Food isn’t good or bad, it’s neutral. God made food for our fuel AND enjoyment! Putting food in good and bad categories makes something off-limits, which typically makes us want it even more!
- Instead, we talk about what fuels us well for the tasks we have during the day, how food makes us feel (energized, sluggish, cranky, uncomfortable, etc), and also the goodness in God’s design in the variety of food He created!
- “We exercised so now we deserve dessert,” or alternatively, “We just ate a lot so we’d better go exercise to burn it off.”
- One of the biggest challenges I faced when finding freedom with food and exercise was untangling the thread between food and exercise. I constantly held them together and thought that if I ate more, I needed to move more, or if I didn’t move that day, I was surely going to gain weight because I ate food that day. But though movement and food both affect our bodies in different ways, they are two separate entities, and thinking of them individually vs. together has been SO helpful in developing a healthy relationship with BOTH. Food has a purpose. So does movement. But now they are two entirely different categories in my brain, which brings freedom to both!
- “If you clean the bathroom, I’ll buy you ice cream.”
- Using food as a reward is something that’s super easy to do, and while this feels harmless, food isn’t something that needs to be earned. It’s not that we don’t ever enjoy dessert, but I’d rather have it be “just because,” vs associated with a behavior or action.
- “You need to finish your plate before you can leave the table.”
- I get it – we don’t want to waste food. We want to make sure our kids are full, so they won’t be asking for a snack in 30 minutes! 🙂 But this also teaches them to ignore their hunger/fullness cues, which can become a bigger problem when we’re older and find ourselves mindlessly eating. Instead, I’ve tried to teach my kids to listen to their tummies – are you truly full? Then you can go. If they aren’t full but just want to leave the table, make sure they know that if they get hungry in 30 minutes, they’re having what’s left on their plate, not a snack from the pantry. But I have found that this is an essential skill that kids don’t often possess b/c they’re always forced to finish their plate.
In it with you, friend, as we break chains and strive to live in freedom! Read more about my personal health journey with disordered eating here and here.
